War Inside Me.

I've tired for being imbasil. but somehow i wont let my self unsecured with the things that i cant through with it. i kept searching what is the source of happiness. wondering where is that actually? where can i get that? could it be a girl so i can call it her? or could it be a boy so i can playing around? and how much is the price as if i could buy it?
questions by questions came down from sky and poured like the rain cover my body.
understand...?
i don't understand..
.............. understand..........?
........ I don't understand.....

new question comes when I've understand the previous one, and i have to understand again through find out the answers...

negative against positive. good ones opposite the bad ones. wanna be right or wanna be wrong, the war keep alive in my mind. i want to release my self, but there's an invisible rope tied me up and keep me away from the limit of the boundaries of goodness close to the badness

i wanna be a naughty boy, but somehow there is a light come out from my heart and told me 'no'. Just like an angel, keep an eye on me, in order to keep me away from sins. but me -in a confidence way - did the sin by my own way..

argh..