love is...

Love is a game that really hard to play. Just like Rubiks.At the very first time you buy this toy, everything seems perfect. Each collors have their own place. But to playing it, you have to spin, twist and displacing those small squares until all the collors are mixing each other. And now the game is about to start. You have to be very patient and persistence to mix and match the collors until it came to the same in every side. It's complicated yet stressing. So does with love. The very first time it came to your life, it seems all perfect, as if life doesnt need another thing to make us happy. You already have it all. But once the twist and spin is coming, everything is become so challenging. Then you will discovered another side of artifical perfection, something that you really adore just from it surfaces. And the rest is depends on you. Are you willing to involve your self into this bumpy-tiring-ride to reach a satisfying result? To get your self of commonness and understanding of two different person with many different personality? Or... You'll just give up like you're playing the rubriks, confused and tired with those disordered patterns? It's all depends on you.

But one thing for sure, love is not a rubiks. They have some commons, but still, It's not.

These sentimentals...

These are the things that keep linger on my mind. Some feelings that constantly squeezing my emotion from a night back to another nights, behind my tinny blanket in a lowered temperature room. Sometimes rain in the middle of my sleep waking me up and gets me lost deeper than ever, surrounded by fears, confusion, loneliness, and a bit of serenity, questioning about something that i always know that would have no ends. Then i get to a second thought, how long does time and distance i should go through to get me to some place that i really wanted to be there?

Gelisah. Dan ini wajar. Memperhatikan, memikirkan, mengangankan atau mengkhawtirkan banyak hal. And sometimes it's all mixed up one and another, membuat kita harus mencabangkan ujung perasaan kedalam berbagai bentuk emosi.

Well... beberapa minggu kebelakang gue seperti berada dalam kondisi emosi yang labil, but non destruktif ya. Hanya aja, gue ngerasa gampang sedih, gampang terenyuh.. well, basically ini emang sifat gue pada dasarnya sih. cuman sekarang terasa lebih parah. Seperti, ketika gue melewati kerumunan orang, gue seperti bisa menangkap pancaran emosi mereka, dan berusaha untuk menyelami. Dan terkadang sampai terbawa juga.. nggak tau deh. Gue nggak bisa menjabarkan perasaan ini dengan kata-kata dengan gamblang, cuman yang pasti gue ngerasa jadi super sentimental.. terlalu peka dan kadang over reacted. Contoh kasusnya ada lah... nggak perlu dijabarkan secara detil. Cuman yang pasti ada hal yang kayak squeezing my heart, setiap gue teringat akan hal itu.
Hanya gue dan Tuhan yang tau. Ah... Biasa lah manusia, selalu merasakan kegelisahan dengan sebab utama yang sama sekali nggak ada dasarnya. ujug2 aja ngerasa jadi kayak gini...

Biarin deh. Nikmati aja.. tokh gue yakin semua orang pasti pernah ngalamin hal kayak gini, dan bisa jadi ini adalah sebuah rutinitas, baik itu yang tinggal di kota atopun di desa. #apasihhh hahaha....

I'm such a sentimental these past few weeks... Fyuh.