Train on my Head.

Jan 4th 2011.

Dear bloggie.

I dont know where to start. There’s like a shinkansen Express rushing on my head. This very beginning of 2011 is going not really good in a few things. Well, some things are good, like i’ve finally finished my “The Unspoken Goodbye” second projects. But, there are things bothered me the most. I still haven’t heard anything from Gramedia about my first “Pre Wedding” Novel. It’s almost eight months already, and I think It is, took too long to get some news about the decission wether they are going to publish it or not.

I know I shouldn’t whining about this. I’m doing very well handling my self in facing these obstacles... But I have to think some other things too. Like my sister and my mother. They had enough in facing some kind of obstacles and hard days in their life. I know I’m gonna be just fine, even excellent. I will be something what i wanna be: a great writer. But my mom and my sister are desperately need something to cover up the situations and fix the messy things very soon.

Wait a sec. I’m gon make a confession first.  I was lied to you. I actually haven’t really finished my second project. It’s just about one damn chapter left. And I’ve been strugling all week long to create something memmorable and touchy... I don’t wanna end up my precious one with just a tacky and rushy closing chapter... So not worth it after all I’ve devoted everything to make this project so damn good.

I just watched the final episode of Ugly Betty’s last seasons, like, for hundred times. It’s only four seasons, but took about three years, more or less, to finally through with a very sweet ending. Anyway, I shed tears every time I watched it.. It’s so damn touchy. It is so simple, but yet essential and really got in to me. And that’s I really wanna make it to be. It has to be... A joyful, romantic, touchy yet memorable closing chapter... Because that’s the bar I’ve already set in every project i make. It has to be good from the beggining until the ending.

 Well, anyway.

Back to my mom and my sister. Due to my jobless condition, now my life temporarily is a total dependence to my mom. I even have to ask her to pay my snacking time. It’s deeply excruciating me. God... I am supposed to be the one who taking care of her... I mean, in the age of hers like now, she’s suppose to be sits peacefully, watching her grandchildrens playing arround the house... Enjoying her resting life. But she’s still doing the daily things. Now she is worrying about her health, but I cannot take her to see the Doctors... I really can’t afford it for now. And she refuses to see the doctor because she is thinking about my sister. She needs tuition for her college.

I gotta do something immediately. I have to make some income as soon as possible. My plans is, I’m going to make script for FTV’s that ussualy broadcasted at SCTV. I hope i can make it happen as soon as possible. I don’t wanna wait until everything is late. My mom is the most important thing in this world to me. I don’t want she gets sick at the time she supposed to enjoy the wonderful momments as i reached my success. She has to be healthy so she can really cellebrate the good life that I’ve been struggling her for.

And another plan is, Im gon to publish and promote my second project by my self. I’m gonna do the marketing by my self through the leaflets and internet. I’m going to spread the leaflets to people on the streets, traffic lights, apartments, offices, radio stations, campuss, and many more. Im gon working hard on it. I aready have the name for it: BYMYSELF Publication. I’m doing it, I’m doing it my way. If gramedia reject me, so be it. Nothing can stop me from reaching my goal. This is so damn good. My “The Unspoken Goodbye” is so damn good. I bet people would love to read it. And now everything depends on my strategy on how I do the marketing. Well, I don’t have a clue yet, but one thing for sure, I am going to do this. I’ll work so hard to promote it. I hope my friends are support me and kindly do the favor to spread the news through any kind of media they have. I really need some supports. Break a leg, Alei. Hope everything runs well as we expected. Amin...